they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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