Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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