hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
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