Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
please don't ironically join a cult
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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