please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
