I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
