Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Randomize
