you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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