p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
