You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
