my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Randomize