1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
did i walk over a car last night?
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Randomize
