you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
