Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Randomize