nut hugger
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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