the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I think a kid would responsible me up
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
