ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
