Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
