You were right. It hurts to walk today.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
