That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
