Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
