You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
