Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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