I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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