Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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