i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
