I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
