You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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