not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
