Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
