so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
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