dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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