i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
