you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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