make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Randomize
