sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
