I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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