were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
fuck your aforementioned shoe
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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