yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
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