Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
