STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Buhtt sex?
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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