She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
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