Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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