Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize