third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
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