so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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