Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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