so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize