i barfeds in our rink
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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