So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Randomize
