No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
