i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
