Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I want to make a zoo with you.
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize
