Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Randomize
