physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
