There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Of course I have a pirate flag
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
