Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
