Plan B is the new Plan A
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
