it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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