just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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