I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
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