I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
