I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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